I hope you are all enjoying the festivities!
Let's do a recap on 2016, we have a new Prime Minister in the UK, The USA have a new President, we lost some amazing celebrities through some horrible illnesses and accidents, the UK are in the process of leaving the EU, the cost of living has increased, Andy Murray wins Wimbledon (again), hate crime has increased throughout the world, rail fares increased by 1.1% throughout the UK and Royal Mail raises their stamp prices by a penny.
So, my 2016 has been eventful to say the least. A few years ago I made plans, plan with people, plans for myself and I didn't stick to the plans as you can imagine. Like most people, plans change, people change, even when they don't want to change, sometimes it just happens. I planned on having my own flat, which happened, I planned on being engaged at some point, that didn't happen, partly my fault, I planned on fulfilling my dreams of becoming a nurse, I didn't go through with that when I started, I quit after 6 months, and I even planned on having a kid at some point...
Put it this way, this was my first Christmas on my own. Not physically you understand, but without a partner.
For most, Christmas is a happy time, it's a time where we all come together and get merry and this year, I spent it with my father and I couldn't be more thankful. For the past 5/6 months my dad has been there for all my emotional breakdowns, my 'I'm not going to work' days, to my 'I'm going to eat this cake' days but he's also been there for my good days. The days I've smiled, laughed and been happy sober.
I've not been sober this whole time you understand. I had a fling with alcohol for a while. Mainly because it made me feel lighter in the head, happier, even helped me sleep at some point. In the morning, I would feel a sense of regret, sadness, hurting, mostly loneliness.
My plan next month is to get sober and better.
I've made a lot of commitments and travel plans for 2017. I will try and fulfill them all as best I can! I've made the usual goals such as quit smoking, go back to the gym and not to eat all the pies, well you know what? I'm going to eat everything in sight, while I run on a treadmill. I'll stop smoking when I've had enough. My goal for 2017, my main goal is to not put any pressure on myself. None what so ever.
I mean, putting pressure on yourself is pointless. It causes nothing but more stress and the temptation to not reach your goals because we have a fight with our-self and end up convincing ourselves to 'have a break'. Life is too short to put pressure on yourself, continue to go at your own pace and reach your goals, even if it takes you longer than a year.
So I send a short message for you all, as we wave 2016 goodbye, I want to be able to let go, and I will let go. Not because I don't care, but mostly because I care enough to leave some things alone, for my sake, for other peoples sake. I'm letting go because I can't move forward otherwise. I encourage those who need to let go, do it. There is nothing worse than being angry with yourself and regretting and as much as we want to change things and make a difference, maybe now is not the time and sitting wondering why, it's not really going to get you anywhere, is it?
I hope you all have a wonderful New Year.
Stay safe!
Cat
I've not been sober this whole time you understand. I had a fling with alcohol for a while. Mainly because it made me feel lighter in the head, happier, even helped me sleep at some point. In the morning, I would feel a sense of regret, sadness, hurting, mostly loneliness.
My plan next month is to get sober and better.
I've made a lot of commitments and travel plans for 2017. I will try and fulfill them all as best I can! I've made the usual goals such as quit smoking, go back to the gym and not to eat all the pies, well you know what? I'm going to eat everything in sight, while I run on a treadmill. I'll stop smoking when I've had enough. My goal for 2017, my main goal is to not put any pressure on myself. None what so ever.
I mean, putting pressure on yourself is pointless. It causes nothing but more stress and the temptation to not reach your goals because we have a fight with our-self and end up convincing ourselves to 'have a break'. Life is too short to put pressure on yourself, continue to go at your own pace and reach your goals, even if it takes you longer than a year.
So I send a short message for you all, as we wave 2016 goodbye, I want to be able to let go, and I will let go. Not because I don't care, but mostly because I care enough to leave some things alone, for my sake, for other peoples sake. I'm letting go because I can't move forward otherwise. I encourage those who need to let go, do it. There is nothing worse than being angry with yourself and regretting and as much as we want to change things and make a difference, maybe now is not the time and sitting wondering why, it's not really going to get you anywhere, is it?
I hope you all have a wonderful New Year.
Stay safe!
Cat
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