Hello everyone!
I would say happy April, but I think I'm a little late for that!
I apologise I've not been blogging much due to work commitments, trying to exercise, text everyone back, maintain a social life, spend time/gaming with the other half and catch up on Netflix.
So we are slowly approaching May and as I sit here listening to my Dad have a karaoke session to himself, I open a Fortune Cookie I was given that evening.
Now, usually I don't pay attention to the messages inside, I just eat the cookie and have a giggle at the messages, but this time, my message made me feel positive about my current situation.
My message - 'The current year will bring you much happiness.'
This made me reflect on this time last year, I felt I could settle where I was and that things would get better if I just ignored them. I doubted myself, I thought I was the problem and I needed to fix my feelings and 'get happy'.
Getting happy isn't easy. You need to make sacrifices. When my last relationship broke down, I walked away from toxic feelings, a home I loved, and someone I thought I loved. I moved back with my parent, feeling the lowest I've ever felt. Forever blaming myself and I let myself go, not only with my weight, but I stopped looking after myself, I took too much on to 'keep busy' and eventually I had to leave a job that just got too much for me, break away from people in general and find myself again.
Six months later, I'm in a new relationship with someone I did not expect, I am waiting for confirmation on my new flat, I have the job that I wanted and love very much and I have a partner, family and friends that support my decisions.
As we approach May, the air is a little warmer, the sky is bluer, and the grass is greener, so to speak, and I can finally say with confidence that I'm happy. Not only with the optimistic future I have but I am finally happy with myself and I can say yes, I have found inner peace.
Now, please say you know that movie, The Shawshank Redemption? Good. If not, watch it, don't be silly. Anyway, That movie taught me that sometimes you need to crawl through dark tunnels that smell and that are surrounded with shit to get out clean and happy on the other side. I believe this.
Everyone has their own definition of 'happy' and I have finally found mine! Even if it took a fortune cookie to tell me so...
Happy reading! <3
Cx
